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I like the idea of being with a woman who would accept my authority – a woman who would want me to have the right to make decisions and command obedience. I like the idea that if I were to tell my woman to do something, she would do it. If she were to disobey me, I would punish her. The woman for me would be someone who would find that exciting, a woman who is aroused by authority, and by my exercising that authority over her.
I'd like to have authority partly because of its power to short-circuit relationship-damaging rows, as ConfusedofHomeCounties? and Sarah Cavendish have explained. But mainly (let's be honest!) because it's sexy.
Even if I were mistaken (or if the woman thought I was mistaken), I'd still expect her to accept my authority and obey me. I am not into having a servant, and would not use my authority to extract service from my woman, but even here, if I were to ask her to do something, I would expect her to do it, and would punish her if she did not. I would of course want my woman to feel free to speak her mind, raise objections, and I would hear her ideas, opinions and complaints. But in the end, I would be the authority and I would make the decisions and she would be subject to that authority and willingly so.
Having said all this, I am a very laid-back, easy-going, non-demanding person, and I believe in exercising my authority with a very light touch. I think this important for a Taken In Hand relationship.