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by Adelle on 2004 Dec 27 - 05:05 | reply to this comment I fear to share my opinion here... but I have to say that I wish I could find a man who believed that women have to do as they are told.
Why do I fear to share this opinion? Because frankly, I don't know a single person on a day to day basis who holds the same view, and when I even voice a thought that touches upon the issue of male-led relationships in the way that this site does, I find myself ridiculed, pitied, dismissed, or hated.
The funny thing is that I am not interested in DD, spanking, M/s, BSDM, or any of a host of lifestyles that I have read about, even though aspects of these predilections have at times appealed to me. I cringe at the idea of my partner's spanking me, mostly because I abhor upsetting those I love and a spanking would mean that I had displeased him. Just knowing that I had upset my partner was enough to bring me to my knees, metaphorically speaking.
No, really what I seek, what I long for, is a truly male-led relationship in which I may defer to my partner. My late partner had leanings in that direction, as I did, so I experienced some of what is discussed here. I tend to believe that this sort of relationship is natural, probably because in my relationship with my partner, I felt more alive, more myself, more natural, more at peace, than I ever felt in so-called egalitarian relationships.
As a sidenote, I have also always preferred working under men. Tonight, I am working late at school, and several men affiliated with the school are meeting here. Simply being in their presence brings out something in me, a submissive streak, that I must hide most of the time. (I'm sure they don't have a clue how I am feeling, by the way, when I walk past the meeting...)
But it simply is not safe to voice these thoughts in the general public. I am a competent person who pays her bills, works a full time job, and manages a home, now alone since my partner died. I can be stubborn, controlling, and difficult, yes, very difficult.
Yet at the same time, I am quite vulnerable emotionally, and being attacked for having a minority view is painful. When I let my guard down and allow myself to speak my thoughts and feelings, I am mostly dismissed by other women. Other men seem confused and don't know what to say. They seem afraid to comment at all. (This was not the case with my partner, with whom I could be totally honest. His quiet strength and wisdom was my safe haven.)
So I sit silently listening to views that are, to my eye, too PC to stomach. I watch men dismissed as dolts, losers, and psychopaths. I watch women exalted as the future "saviors" of the planet. And what I really want is for the men to take back the reins!